One in 14 children have experienced emotional abuse from a parent or guardian, and as many as 2,000 children were identified as needing protection from emotional abuse last year. These statistics come from the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, or NSPCC.

Emotional abuse is something that is not always recognizable at first glance. Some have grown up with emotional abuse and have not even noticed it until years later, or until it was too late.

The Mighty has compiled a list of 25 Signs That You Grew Up Experiencing Emotional Abuse to illustrate that some have been dealing with it their whole lives and never knew what was going on. Emotional abuse can be subtle, and come in many different forms and actions.

Emotional abuse can be broken down into two categories:  passive and aggressive.

Aggressive forms of emotional abuse tend to be more outward facing, apparent, and dominant focused. You know exactly how that person feels in that moment and the people around, if there are any, can see it, too. There is no mistaking this kind of abuse.

Passive emotional abuse, on the other hand, is less obvious. Passive emotional abuse shows up as of small digs – or “normal” sarcasm that is anything but normal (i.e. you certainly have child bearing hips; you have always been too sensitive; go on and cry like a girl), things that usually confuse you and leave you wondering if you may actually be what the person says. In some cases, it can even turn into a master and subordinate type of relationship.

Someone says something that hurts your feelings? You get to say, “That hurt my feelings.” They don’t get to say, “No, I didn’t, you’re too sensitive.” That’s emotional abuse, truly. And again, I’m not here to debate if you’re too sensitive or not, I’m here to say when someone says to you, “You’re too sensitive.” When you say, “That hurt my feelings,” that’s emotional abuse. That teaches us to not honor our feelings and by not honoring our feelings, we don’t live up to all we can be.

Of course, there are more than just this list, but here are a few quick examples of what some aggressive signs of emotional abuse might be:

NAME CALLING

THREATS

BELITTLING AND CONDESCENSION

MANIPULATIONS AND CORRUPTION

CONDEMNATION AND CRITICISM

BRIBERY AND EXTORTION

CONTROL AND POSSESSIVENESS

ISOLATION

ACCUSATIONS AND PARANOIA

EXHIBITION AND VOYEURISM

 

Like we mentioned before, not all signs of emotional abuse are aggressive, they can be passive and here are some examples of that:

GUILT AND SHAME

SABOTAGE

BLAME

IGNORING

COMPARISON AND DISAPPROVAL

REJECTION AND NEGLECT

CORRECTION

CROWDING AND IMPOSITION

GOSSIP

 

 

You are not alone. You are not the only one who has been through something like this.

Don’t wait until it is too late to seek help or at least talk to someone about it. A healthy relationship is what you should aim for with both your family, friends, and intimate relationships.

If a more detailed list or description of these signs are needed, this article from Family Share can be more in depth with examples as well.

Please call me at 317-509-8753 if you’d like to talk about healing from emotional abuse. Even though it doesn’t leave bruises, it is just as lethal.

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